Forgetting

My TiVo recorded Forgetting Sarah Marshall for me recently. So last night as I was scrolling through TiVo's options, I decided to watch it.

What a fun movie. I think it might just be one of my favorites. The first time I saw it was in the summer of 2008, a few months after SnarkEx had moved out. I loved it then, and I loved it again last night. It's a great breakup movie with a [spoiler alert!] happy ending.

The funny thing is, the movie had a new poignancy to me this time around. It's about a guy who gets dumped by his girlfriend, and to get over her he goes on a vacation to Hawaii. In a coincidence that only happens in the movies, she ends up staying in the same hotel, with her new boyfriend, in a room close enough that he can hear them having sex.

It made me think of my upcoming tropical cruise, a vacation I'm taking because K dumped me. Like the guy in the movie, I'm taking a solo vacation to help me forget a girl. Unlike the movie, I'm positive that K will not be on the cruise.

*****

This morning I visited the DMV to get my title and registration changed. As a result of the ticket I got last week for having expired plates, I realized that my title and registration still had SnarkEx's name on it. I had to take a copy of my divorce decree to them and pay $20, and they removed her name from my title.

I hadn't looked at the divorce stuff in over two years. When I looked at my fireproof safe that has all my most important documents, my marriage license was in there, but the divorce papers were just filed in my regular filing cabinet. It seemed like the two should go together, so I moved my divorce papers to the firesafe box.

It's been almost three years since she moved out, and there are still little bits of her showing up in my shit. It was worth $20 and some of my time to get her off my car registration. It makes it easier to forget her.

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I'm also trying to forget that I asked out a girl on Tuesday. I haven't heard back from her, and I suppose no news is still good news, although at some point it will become bad news. I mean, if she never responds then that's a no, right?

I'm tired of getting nervous every time my phone rings or my text alert chirps. Or checking my email. (I gave her all three options.) I don't like to live my life on pins and needles. She was sick on Tuesday, and I don't know if she's been back at work since then. Has she even seen my card yet?

The longer I wait, the more the doubts set in. Maybe I've totally misinterpreted this situation. Was it inappropriate to ask her out? Did she think I was a wuss for doing it in a card? Did she not understand what I was really asking? Have I offended her? I spend too much of my life worrying that I've done something inappropriate.

Sometimes this all seems so silly. What am I doing asking someone I hardly know out to coffee? Isn't that just bizarre? It happens all the time in movies and TV, but in real life it just seems really... unnatural.

But... it's just coffee. It's not like I'm asking her to meet my family or go on a cruise with me or be a kittymama to my cats. She doesn't have to be the next love of my life. Even if she agrees to coffee, that doesn't even mean it's a date. It's just two people getting to know each other better. We could be totally wrong for each other. We probably are. The odds of us being totally compatible are pretty slim.

But it would be nice to know that she at least finds me attractive, charming, or compelling enough for a date. That would be something, wouldn't it?

*****

Here are some coincidences that my overthinking mind has discovered. Co-Op Girl's first name is Rachel. (I'm nervous writing that here, but I don't think I'm giving away any identifying info. This is an anonymous blog, after all, and if she had an online identity worth googlestalking, I would have found it long ago. So remember her name for the purpose of this story, then forget it immediately. Thanks.)

When I first started flirting with Rachel, I noticed that her name tag had three stars on it. I teased her about that and said that she deserved more than three stars. I then mentioned the movie Office Space and made a joke about "pieces of flair." When I told a friend about this, he pointed out that the woman in the movie who had to wear "pieces of flare" was played by Jennifer Aniston, who is most famous for her role in Friends as... Rachel.

In Forgetting Sarah Marshall, the main character gets friendly with the front desk girl at the hotel in Hawaii, played by the totally hot and adorable Mila Kunis. She becomes one of the main characters and helps him to get over his heartbreak. The front desk girl's name? Rachel.

This is all coincidence. It's not a sign that Co-Op Girl is destined to get me over K. Real life isn't like the movies, and I'm sure these things have no bearing on whether I get a date with her.

So I will try to forget those coincidences.