Expensive Encounter

So yesterday I was out running errands, and since I was nowhere in the neighborhood, I decided to drive across town and stop by the Co-Op. Maybe they had some organic chocolate bars I could buy as stocking stuffers or something. I didn't expect to see Co-Op Girl, since she wasn't there last Sunday and I just assumed that she had skipped town for the holidays.

I drove past and didn't see her at the cash register through the big front window, and so I turned my car around in the parking lot to head home. But as I drove past the front window on my way out, I saw her! It was only the back of her head, but I'd know that lovely back anywhere. So I parked nervously and walked in.

Unlike last time, I had no plan. I'd still like to ask her out, but I'm trying to figure out how to do it more spontaneously. If I try to script out everything, I get too nervous and weird. So I'll just continue with our 3-minute conversations at the checkout until an opening arises.

I told her I was looking for some last-minute gift ideas, and she gave me some suggestions until the manager overheard us and took over, showing me all around the store and giving me way more information than I really wanted. I couldn't just say, "Um, what I really want is a date with your cashier." So I patiently listened to her whole spiel.

I picked out a few things-- a painted metal water bottle, some really good chocolate, and some organic hot cocoa powder. In all I spent $32 just so that I could have another 3-minute conversation with a girl I know hardly nothing about. I did find out that she's not traveling over the holidays because she's from Snarktown, and that she studied in California. If I hadn't been under such an infatuation-induced brain freeze, I might have asked her what she studied or how she's spending her time over the holidays, but I didn't.

I left the store and as I walked out to my car, I saw a cop putting a ticket on it. WTF? This is free parking! I've parked here hundreds of times and never had a problem. The officer informed me that my plates were expired.

I looked at the sticker on my license plate. Expiration November, 2009. Well, fuck me! How did that happen? I then remembered that they usually mail me my renewal forms, but I moved in July of last year. They probably sent them to my old address. I've been driving on an expired license plate for over a year! Sonofobitch! The ticket for the expired plate was $25. So now the price tag on my spontaneous encounter with CO Girl was up to $57.

So this morning I had to set the alarm to get up good and early to go to the DMV, so I could renew my plates. (I couldn't do it online anymore because they had been expired for so long.) That cost about $100, plus $10 to stop by the mechanic to put on the new plates because I am a girlyman and couldn't get the old screws off with the tools I had at home.

So, as a result of following my penis into the Co-Op to see a cute girl, I've had to spend $167. Granted, some of it was stuff I really needed, like renewing my plates. But man, does my penis get me into some expensive encounters.

*****

One reason I didn't ask CO Girl out was because there was much bustle and activity in the store, with other employees and shoppers all around us. There was no way to be discreet. Three other people would have witnessed my awkward attempt to make a move. Is there any way around this?

I guess I could stalk the store until she's alone at the checkout. Or hand her a note that says, "I like you. Do you like me? (please check box) Yes/No."

Any suggestions from my brilliant and experienced readers? How do I ask out someone in front of her co-workers, while at the same time keeping it breezy and spontaneous?