Talked Out

I visited my hometown this week. It was good to see family and realize what a great support system I have. Everyone wants to hear all the details of what's going on. This is one situation where people are happy to hear you whine about your life. It's also interesting how everyone opens up and tells you about marital problems they've had. I'm surprised to learn how many strong marriages I know were close to splitting up. But after repeating my story five times over three days, I'm kind of talked out. And I still have two more family members and a good friend to call.

While I was driving around my hometown, I had about 20 minutes to kill and decided to visit the old library where I worked while I was in college. Since I'm a librarian now, this was the place that introduced me to libraries; that changed the course of my life. They had completely renovated the building, so it didn't look anything like it did 14 years ago when I left. I walked around for a while and debated whether I should ask after my old boss or not. I knew I didn't have very much time, since I was meeting my sister for lunch in 15 minutes.

Finally I approached the desk and asked if my old boss was still the manager. Yes, they told me, would I like to talk to her? Sure, I said. My old boss and one ex-coworker came out from the back room and gave me hugs. The first thing my old boss did was point to my wedding ring and say excitedly, "Oh, you're still married! How's it going?" I didn't want to go into the details, so I lied. Yep, everything's good. Then she asked me about my wife for five minutes. I told her all about my wife's new job and how much she loves it. (As far as I know-- I also thought she loved being married to me.)

This was the first time I had to put a public face on a private crisis. It was awkward.

Update: A few days later, I got a call from someone at church about a social lunch the wife and I are supposed to attend. The caller wanted to let us know what to bring. I didn't think this was the right time to explain that we're separated, so I just gave her the wife's new cell number and asked her to call that. I said I probably wouldn't be coming to the lunch, so she should talk to the wife about it. I'll let her tell people that she's moved out.