The Rules

I told the wife this whole thing was her deal, so she had to let me know what the rules are. Of course, certain things are up to negotiation, but because she initiated this whole thing, she's in the driver's seat. I don't know how she envisions this trial separation.

I asked her the other day what she was thinking in terms of dating other people. If we were smart and serious about our marriage, you would think that would be clearly off-limits. But she recommended that we not seek out other people, you know, like putting ads up on internet dating sites (where we met 4.5 years ago), but that if one of us meets someone we're interested in, that's fair game. "You shouldn't put your life on hold," she said. My reaction to her proposal was not an acknowledgement that this was a bad sign for our relationship, but rather, "Woo-hoo, I get to date other women!"

She came home from church on Sunday and told me that some of the people in church were hosting a social event and that I was invited. She just wanted to pass the message on to me. I asked her, if I went, would we be going as a couple? No, she said. Then why would I go? The only reason I was included in the invitation was as her husband. It's not like people from church (where I rarely go) are inviting me as an individual. It seemed like a strange message for her to pass on to me.

When I came home from tennis Sunday night, she was there watching TV. We were very friendly to each other. She asked me how my game went, and since I won a very fun, close match, I was excited and told her about it. (One thing I'll have to get used to after she leaves is not having anyone to share such moments with.) Out of reflex, she pursed her lips and made a kissing sound at me, something she does all the time as a gesture of affection. I caught her and said, "You can't do that anymore." She said, playfully, "I know. I need to get used to that."

Then I said, "But maybe you can kissy the new furniture in your apartment."