Clavicle Celibacy

Celibacy: It's not just for priests anymore.

I've encountered a few people over the past year who have made a conscious decision to be celibate. They feel that sex (and the pursuit of sex) has taken too much of their energy and they need to take a break from it. I'm probably oversimplifying their reasons, since I can't really explain why someone would choose to be celibate.

But that's because I've lived most of my adult life in de facto celibacy. I don't really choose celibacy-- it chooses me.

Someone suggested to me recently that I try to be celibate for the next year. My response was, "That's like telling someone who's malnourished to go on a diet." For people who are overfed, who can get all the sex they want, I totally get why you might want to cut back. But that's not me.

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Since the breakup with AG, I've been turned off by dating, but I've had this desire to sow my wild oats, to explore my whorish side-- something I wouldn't dare when I'm in (or looking for) a committed relationship. Yeah, I whine about having celibacy forced upon me, but the truth is I've never really tried to sleep around. Maybe I just have to put more effort into it.

So a few weeks ago I put an ad up on one of those Adult websites where people are looking for "casual encounters." I didn't really expect to find anything, but it was worth exploring. Maybe I could meet some new friends! (One site is actually called Adult Friend Finder.) The advice I always get from people is to get involved in activities you enjoy. Well, if sex is one of my hobbies, why not try to meet people with that interest?

Twelve hours after I put my ad up, I broke my clavicle.

Is that a sign?

Whether it's a sign or not, I can tell you what the result was: I pulled down my ad. Because, let me tell you, nothing is more of a turn-off than having a broken clavicle.

I have a very active imagination and I can imagine (and have imagined!) sex in a thousands of different scenarios. But I have never ever fantasized about broken collarbone sex. It's even harder for me to imagine it now that I have one. Sex for me is like swimming: there is much thrashing about with fully-extended limbs.

So circumstances have forced me into a vow of celibacy until my clavicle heals. Now that sex is off the table, I can put my energy into meeting people and making friends, and there's no pressure or expectation that anything sexual might happen.

Funny how these things work out.