I'm Out There

I took the plunge on Saturday night.

I turned my ad on a dating site "public", paid $50 to join for a month, and indicated my interest in one of the ladies.

I was excited about it for the first few hours, but since then it's started to remind me why I hate dating. My plan was to join two or three different sites, since there were a couple ads on each site that I was thinking of responding to. But the first site was way more expensive than I thought it would be. And the second one kept having technical difficulties that pissed me off and delayed my profile from being made "public." (If I'm going to be "out there", I have to make sure the presentation is up to my exacting standards.)

I still am yet to join a second site, although I search and browse three different sites every day. The first ad I showed an interest in, the one that inspired me to subscribe in the first place, has already rejected me. I have no idea why she rejected me, but her profile is "no longer available" to me.

This awakens my anger toward Snarkwife. I think I'll probably get mad at her every time I get rejected. It's her fault that I'm in the position to begin with. I shouldn't even have to put myself "out there"-- I'm supposed to be married.

Now I'm checking three different sites about ten times a day, but I can't bring myself to respond to a second ad. All the momentum I had on Saturday night is gone. Maybe I'm not ready to date yet.