Hermit Week

My back seems to be getting worse every time I play tennis, so I've decided to lay off tennis for a few weeks and let it heal. There's a Labor Day tournament I really want to play in, and I want to be healthy for it. I went to the doctor and got some muscle relaxants and some advice for quick healing. Since the pills make me really drowsy, I can't really drive when I'm on them, so I've lived like a hermit the past week: sitting at home and watching movies or playing on the interwebs. I've gone whole days without talking to another person. And I haven't played tennis in five days.

It hasn't been too bad, actually. I've gone stir crazy a few times, but then I just go for a walk and I feel better. I'm learning to walk by myself again, and enjoying it.

Since I don't have much going on, I'll probably do drugs all weekend and concentrate on healing my back. I thought about maybe trying to set up a date with one of the online ladies (I'm in email contact with two of them), but something is holding me back. I feel like maybe I'm not ready to date yet. I'm afraid of going out with someone and really liking her, and getting sucked into another relationship. For the first time in my life, I don't think I'm looking for that. I don't want to be tied down to any one person. On the other hand, I also don't know if I'd be any good at playing the field. I'm not very good at multitasking.

I keep imagining how a date would go, and in these imaginary dates, I catch myself mentioning "my wife." Like, for instance, "Oh, yeah, my wife read that book." Then I have to catch myself. She's not my wife, she's my ex-wife. Or my future ex-wife. Or something. And talking about your wife during a date is probably a mood killer.

So I haven't made any moves yet. I'll just crawl under my shell like a hermit crab, take some muscle relaxants, and veg-out for a few more days.