I finally opened the package from Wretchley, Thorne, & Scrotum, or whatever law firm that my wife hired. I made sure I was watching TV at the time, so I didn't have to give it my full attention.
It was indeed all the forms I'm supposed to sign for the divorce. The settlement is pretty straightfoward: we've already divided up all the stuff and assets we have, so it's basically just a legal document acknowledging that. The language was mostly lawyerese, although I was able to understand most of it. I almost shit a brick sideways when I misread the line, "[wife] affirms that she is not now pregnant" as "...that she is now pregnant." I couldn't feel my face for a few seconds after that little misunderstanding.
Some people have asked me whether the wife plans to get her maiden name back. I couldn't answer them until now. One of the items of the settlement is that she will reclaim her old name. This seems like a strange thing to be written into a settlement. I told my brother about this, and he suggested that I not agree to that. "I'll agree to everything else you want, but you have to keep my name!"
I'm supposed to call the law firm and make an appointment to come in and sign the papers. I'm not anywhere near that yet. It took me a week just to open the package. Calling lawyers and signing papers would require a level of action that I'm not really capable of right now.
I was telling some guys on my tennis team last night about the legal aspects of my divorce. One of them asked about whether I could sue her if she did this or that, like dating someone else before the divorce was final.
"What would I be trying to get out of her?" I asked.
"You could try to get half of your savings back."
But I don't really care about the money. The one bright spot about this divorce as that I'm not really feeling it financially. I started working professionally five years ago, and as far as the income is concerned, I still feel like I've won the lottery. I don't have a high standard of living, and my strategy to live well below my means has paid off. So I've got that going for me.
But here's what I'd like to sue her for. I want my self-esteem back. Any positive feelings or moments of happiness she has, I want half of those. I also want to make her take half of the misery and depression I've experienced over the past three months. She's not allowed to be happy if I'm not. An equitable distribution of emotions. Can I sue her for that?
When I think about it, that's what marriage is supposed to be: sharing all your happiness and pain.
Peace At Any Price
1 year ago
1 comment:
Yeah, I know what you mean about the division of "goods" I let MyUnwife take whatever she wanted. I didn't care. It was my opinion at the time, that by leaving she was already taking the one thing that I wanted. I had promised "for better or for worse" and this was as "worse" as it could get. I guess the good news is we harp on that part of the vow rather than knocking on their doors with an axe asking about the "Death do us part" stuff. ;)
There is a silver lining to all of this. You may not see it yet, but one day you'll wake up and go, "Wow!" See, you're at a prefect point. You have a lot going for you, and you'll be able to take advantage of more opportunities now that you're only making decisions for one. Oh, I'd still trade it for my marriage, but it's a door that wasn't there before. Walk through it, you'll be fine.
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