Hypothetical Ungrudgement

Someone asked me the other day how I would react if SnarkEx wanted me back.

I would not go back to her. She had her chance at the SnarkLove-- and she blew it. She's done way too much damage. You only get to abandon me once, ladies. Give someone else a chance.

But I do think that if she came to me and said she'd made a huge mistake and wanted me back, it would be a great boost to our post-divorce relationship. Because it's hard for me to hold a grudge against someone who is genuinely sorry and acknowledges their mistakes.

One of the reasons that I think I'm still so mad at SnarkEx is because she was so obstinate about her reasons for leaving me. When I get angry at someone, and they refuse to acknowledge their part in it-- refuse to own up to their mistakes-- it makes me even angrier. SnarkEx was acting crazy and a lot of people could see it and tried to give her good advice. But she shut them out. Me included. She got defensive and then didn't understand when people got exasperated with her.

She never showed any signs of remorse or regret for leaving her marriage. She refused to admit any fault to me, to my family, to her church.

So it feels like I never got any closure. I'm been stewing in my own juices for the past year and a half.

I have an ex-girlfriend who has strongly implied that she regrets letting me go. Every time she hears that I'm single again (through mutual acquaintances) she gets back in touch with me. She complains about her current partner and says things like, "I can't talk to other people like I talk to you" or "The last good sex I had was with you." I'm not interested in dating her again, but it's hard for me to stay bitter toward someone who acknowledges that she fucked up.

So all I ask of SnarkEx is that she have a miserable life with a loser partner and admits what a colossal mistake she made when she left me.

Then we can be friends.

But nothing more.