Divorce Menu

The wife emailed me this weekend to ask me which option for the divorce I want:

1. We execute the Marital Settlement Agreement now and file the official papers for divorce in September, after we've been separated six months.
2. We can get all of it over with now if we can both state publicly that we've lived "separate and apart" for six months, even if we weren't "in separate residences."
   

Regardless of the merits of getting a quick divorce or having to wait until September, I cannot bring myself to state publicly that we were separated during a period of time when I thought we had a happy marriage. I know it's only a technicality, but I absolutely cannot rewrite history in that way.

I told her as much, and she responded that she thought I'd feel that way. Then she asked if option #1 was okay. Oh, you mean the only remaining option? Sure, I "choose" that! I'm not sure exactly what it means, but I think she's asking, in a roundabout, legalese way, that we divide up our savings and officially turn over car registration, etc, now, even though we won't actually get legally divorced until September.

I guess this is fair, since she probably really needs her share of our savings right now. A mutual friend told me last weekend that her car broke down last week and she thinks she needs to get a new one. Although I've spent most of the last two months hoping bad things will happen to her, I do feel a slight twinge of concern for her over the terrible timing of her car trouble.

Since I'm the one who always took care of our bank accounts, I'll try to get her her share of the money soon. I'm just no good at true wrath.