Beginnings

I don't think I've ever been so happy to see March. This is a new morning, a new week, a new month, a new beginning.

The beginning of a new month is an arbitrary distinction, but it still makes me feel better.

I've always been much better at beginnings than endings. I like the beginning of movies, meals, books, seasons, vacations, trips, relationships. I'm a morning person. But usually, by the end of these things, I'm ready to move on. I think a lot of my enjoyment of them comes from the anticipation. A new experience is full of possibilities. By the time something ends, I'm already anticipating the next one.

So a new month, especially one that isn't February, is a symbolic new beginning. I'm in a much better place psychologically, because I'm in a "new beginning" state of mind.

February ended with lots of bangs and whimpers. On Saturday I had to tear myself away from a 2-hour phone conversation with K to go drinking with friends. The first half of the night, the beginning, was much fun. But I was stupid and ordered too many sugary martini-like drinks, not my usual beer. I got sick fast. I'm usually a lot smarter than that when I drink. Not this time.

Sunday I had the worst hangover of my life. You'd think, at my age, I would stop doing stupid shit like this. I guess some lessons you learn more than once. I spent the day nursing my hangover and vowing to never drink alcohol again. The cats enjoyed the day, because they got to cuddle up against my warm and very still body.

Sunday evening K and I had another 2-hour conversation. Even though I was still feeling weak from my hangover, it energized me. I'm feeling much better about us this morning. Even without the face-to-face contact that I was craving this weekend, our relationship feels energized.

I had considered calling in sick to work today. I don't have much work stuff going on and I'm still a little bit squeamish from my hangover. Have a slight headache and upset stomach. (I've never had a hangover last longer than a day before.) I also thought I could use a mental health day. But I was in such a good mood this morning that I decided to come to work anyway. If my symptoms get any worse, I may go home early.

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Apropos of nothing, here's a picture of my wonderful cats:


I was putting away laundry a few weeks ago and they jumped into the linen closet while I had the door open. AuxiliaryKitty is in the back. BlackKitty is the newish one, who I adopted last year. Not only does he match my towels, but he's been a perfect addition to the family. I feel lucky to have got him, which is ironic because no one else wanted him-- he'd been at the human society longer than any other cat there. I can't believe so many people passed on him, because he is awesome. Their loss.